Tuesday, June 1, 2010

WSOP 2010

Someone dropped the immoral card in regard to gambling today. He openly told me how shocked he was to hear that in the past I may have aspired to be a professional gambler. This he said with a smile on his face, but still, he never would have thought. Said person is very high on the food chain, if you know what I mean? Another higher up said he used the word immoral and I hate that attachment to poker. Self worth and identity are called into question here and it's something I have grappled with ever since I got back into the game. Even before I quit-when I was going to move to Vegas someone said I was flushing my life down the toilet. It made me feel small.

I have had conversations ad nauseam with people near to me whom I've had to 'convince' that I am going to play again and I am going to be responsible, not let it affect my everyday life, etc. I waved my 'life progress' in their faces: "See how strong I am? See how far I have come? See my discipline?" I felt so strongly about the decision I was willing to walk away from arguably the most important person in my life at the time. And essentially I did.

Fast forward over 2 years, the present. I am going to the WSOP. Holy shit. But hold on! The immoral thing. Again, I feel a little defensive about the issue and have been hesitant about unleashing this at work, but I'm going to Vegas for vacation. I have cultivated work relationships that promote honesty and this is my life, so fuck it. After all the name of this blog is The Gambling Librarian. I have been sweating potential future employers doing their research and finding this little blog, and have struggled with it. I want a job-that's the point. I don't want to jeopardize future employment because they may think it's immoral or sketchy. I play poker for money. I don't bet on sports or play casino floor games such as black jack, roulette, craps, etc. I play poker to quench my competitive thirst.

I plan on continuing this thread b/c there is much more to be said, but I need sleep because I am responsible and love my job ;)

Desert bound,


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