Wednesday, December 31, 2008

My main man Ace

He strolled by our table wafting of douche, and snorted at every other table that he passed. After circling around the room he decided to grace our table because we all were certain marks to him. While parading around the room, another gentleman claimed the same seat that the douche bag wanted. The other guy, who happens to be a loose player and likes to drink, placed a ton of chips on the table, but the douche started berating him for stealing his seat. I was crestfallen.

Let us call him Ace. Ace's brownish hair was parted in the middle and went down to the bottom of his earlobes. He had darting shifty little eyes and walked slow and deliberate; he loved his brown leather jacket and he loved his blue tooth (of course). Ace was one big pile of shit. After berating the other guy, an older lady at the next table over asked if he was using the little 'snack' table next to him. Well, how dare she. Can she not see the water on the table? How could she be so stupid? He went on, and I wanted to blast him in the face right there. So did the dude next to me. After a few hands of Ace telling everyone how bad they were,(while losing every hand) the dude next to me had had enough and asked why he was being such an ass and gave it to him. I had his back, so did his brother, and the kid from India, and the back woodsman. We all hated his guts like he just plowed over our favorite 3 legged cat. With the bee's nest shaken, the floor manager was called over to calm the storm. Not before I voiced my displeasure about how he stole the other guy's seat. I think I surprised the dealer and floor manager, because my face is becoming familiar around there, but I tend to stay quiet. I was visibly pissed at Ace. I was delighted that one of the brothers broke Ace: we all gloated and cheered and snickered and Ace had enough of our business so he moved to another table to cause a second mini-riot. Poker is surfeit with ego and machismo and I try to ignore most of it, but this guy was just nasty. It was nice to be swept away in a karmic-friendly-mob-mentality-attack on a my main man, Ace.

With love from the trenches,


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